[00:00:00] If your marriage seems broken and you are ready to plan a path that includes separation, divorce, or judicial intervention, I want you to know you are not alone. While I’ll be consistently providing you with tips on how to prepare yourself both mentally and emotionally for a divorce, this section is one of the more touchy feely sections in Florida.

You have a number of options to select. When you’re trying to plan a path for divorce, you do have some control over what path you take, but it does take two to figure out this journey. The first step you need to take is understanding what options you have so you can try to guide your divorce in the direction that best fits you, your goals, and your family.

The truth is not every person who enters into this process is going to be in the same place mentally or emotionally. It is important today and throughout the divorce process to take an emotional inventory by sitting down [00:01:00] there asking yourself a few questions. What are you doing right now? What do you want to do next?

How do you feel right now? And how do you want feel next? Consider how you’re feeling in the source of those emotions. And if you’re watching this video, you may even be deliberating or preparing for a divorce. So your feelings might include being anxious or angry. Maybe you have guilt, maybe you’re in denial or depressed.

Sometimes people tell me they feel numb. However you’re feeling it’s okay. It is normal, and it’s also normal to vacillate between multiple feelings every 30 seconds. For example, you might be angry one moment and 30 seconds later you might be sad. I am not here to convince you to get a divorce, but understanding your emotions is an important part of this process.

Understanding how you feel and why you feel that way allows you to separate your decisions from your emotions, and in order to make long-term strategic [00:02:00] decisions and to create a plan that leads success, you have to build that little muscle in your brain that allows you to identify your emotions and assess.

Whether those emotions will help you or hurt you in achieving those long-term strategic goals, I recommend that everyone work with a licensed mental health counselor, therapist or psychologist so they can stay accountable and work through your emotions one step at a time with a professional. Now, I want you to close your eyes for a moment.

I’m serious. I want you to close your eyes when people come into our office. I ask ’em to picture their a trail head, like they’re standing at the head of a long hike. Picture four different paths on that trail head. Each one of those trails represents a different way to go through the divorce process in the state of Florida.

On one end, you see smooth and direct trails On the other. You see one with a lot of [00:03:00] obstacles. Both options are okay. While the terrain may be tough and emotions may run high, you will get through this and I’m gonna explain to you how you can avoid courtrooms and legal battles and focus on your goals.

You don’t have to walk this journey alone. I’m here to help you understand which path you’re on, what to expect along the way, and how to prepare so you can reach the finish line stronger. Calmer and in control. Now, let’s walk through each path together and let’s find the one that’s right for you and your family path.

Number one, again, close your eyes. Again, this is gonna be your simplified dissolution of marriage path. Think about it as the easiest and least stressful way to go from point A to point B. We’re gonna call that married life to single life. This is the most speedy. In straightforward options in the state of Florida, but it’s only available in certain [00:04:00] situations.

And here’s what you need to know to determine if you’re eligible. One, you and your spouse have no children together, biological or adopted. If you have children, you can’t do a simplified divorce. Number two, neither of you is seeking alimony. Number three, you both have to agree that the marriage is over and you’re ready to move on.

And this is important. Number four, you both will cooperate and sign whatever documents and waive your right to a trial. If that sounds like your situation, then great news, this process will be over so quickly you won’t even be able to finish the rest of this video, I’m teasing. But once you file your simplified Dissolution to Marriage petition and you submit your financial affidavit, the court will review everything.

And if everything is in order and you waive everything you need to waive, a final judgment of divorce will be entered in just a few weeks. No long court battles, no drama, just a clean, efficient resolution. This path is ideal for couples who are [00:05:00] on the same page, and we’re on a low cost, low conflict way to unie the knot.

Oftentimes you can do this without ever stepping foot into a courtroom, and if you’re not sure whether or not you qualify or not. Our team is ready to help. All you have to do is submit a, a question. Divorce doesn’t have to be messy, and that’s what we’re gonna go through next path number two. Let’s take a look at path number two, uncontested divorce.

This path is still calm and still cooperative, but it’s a little bit longer than the first trail that we looked at. So who’s uncontested divorce for? It is for couples who may have children property debts or spousal support issues to figure out, but the key here is that the couple can communicate and they can agree on how everything should be divided and what support should be paid even if you don’t have it all worked out immediately.

If you’re both willing to collaborate and reach a solution, [00:06:00] uncontested divorce may still be an option available to you. You need have honest conversations with your spouse. And that could be with the help of a mediator or working with a lawyer or a coach, you need to draft a fair and complete marital sum agreement so that neither of you has things that they wanna bring up later on.

And the third requirement you need to have is that the non-filing spouse file an answer and waiver. And that simply tells the court that they’re not gonna contest everything and that they agree to the relief that you’re seeking the result. No trial and no courtroom showdown. Just like the simplified divorce, the final judgment will be signed by a judge usually in about two or three months from the time that everything gets filed, depending on the judge.

This path will save you time, stress, and money. And here’s another thing that you should know. Many lawyers offer limited representation or discounted prices on uncontested cases, [00:07:00] especially when both sides are willing to work things out. Okay. You can get the help you need without paying for a full blown legal battle.

It’s a smart and respectful way to honor whatever agreements you reach with your spouse while setting you up for success. Later down the road, we talk about path number three. Now, this one’s a little bit longer, but it’s still pretty easy path. This is a collaborative divorce. And this is an option that more and more couples are choosing because it allows them to operate and separate with dignity, privacy, and a focus on cooperation and not conflict.

Honestly, collaborative divorce is one of my favorite things to talk about. While it’s not as well known or widely discussed as some of the other options that we’ll talk about today. Collaborative divorce has been around for a while. Collaborative divorce was originally pioneered in the late eighties and early nineties by Canadian attorney Stu Webb.

Collaborative divorce grew in popularity in the United States throughout the nineties, and by the early [00:08:00] two thousands. Central Florida got its own collaborative family law group, which has recently gone through a total rebranding in a name change, and I’m a proud member of that group. If you want more information about Central Florida’s Collaborative Divorce Group, go to www.centralfloridacollaborativedivorce.com.

Now. Collaborative divorce is for people who know they need professional help to navigate a divorce, but don’t want to end up in a courtroom battle. It’s an alternative dispute to litigation. It’s especially helpful when there are children, complex finances or emotional wounds that are part of the picture.

But what really sets collaborative divorce apart is everybody involved is committed to resolving things respectfully and privately without ever going to court. So what is collaborative divorce? Everybody keeps talking about it. And how does it work? Each spouse is required to hire a collaboratively trained attorney.

Someone who not [00:09:00] only is an expert in family law, but also trained in communication, negotiation, and interest based problem solving. Generally, the lawyers are gonna bring in two professionals. The first, a neutral financial professional. They’re gonna join the team and help the parties, organize the financial disclosures, create budgets, value assets, and give both parties a clearer picture of the financial road ahead.

Next, we’ll generally bring in a mental health professional. Sometimes we call this person the facilitator. They’re not there to provide therapy, but they will help keep communication respectful. They’ll help manage conflict, and they’ll help both parties develop healthy. Child-centered parenting plans, assuming there’s children involved.

The team approach helps everybody stay focused on problem solving rather than point scoring. Every collaborative case is required to have a few things. One of those is a collaborative participation agreement. [00:10:00] This is one of the defining features of a collaborative divorce. Because both spouses and all the professionals are required to sign the collaborative participation agreement at the very beginning.

And it says a lot of things, but most importantly, it says, we’re gonna do this outside of court. And that means if someone later decides to abandon the collaborative process and file a contested. Both parties are agreeing that the attorneys and professionals are all thrown out. You have to hire new lawyers and start all over.

And why is that important? I believe because it creates a shared incentive to make the process work. Everybody’s invested on finding a solution without litigation, and it saves the family money. This rebuilds trust and establishes accountability from the start. Another benefit of collaborative divorce privacy.

In a courtroom divorce, your personal issues, your finances and your parenting disagreements often become public record [00:11:00] for anybody to read. In the collaborative divorce process, the entire negotiation happens in a series of confidential meetings, not a courtroom. What means more is that you maintain control over your information, your schedule, and your outcomes.

You don’t leave it up to a judge or chance. S Now everybody asks me these questions. What’s the cost? Collaborative divorces generally take between four and nine months, depending on the complexity of the issues and how willing both sides are to cooperate. While the cost is a little bit more upfront than let’s say a con uncontested case or simplified divorce case, it often costs far less than litigation in the long run.

And I mean that both financially and emotionally. And because you’re working with a full team of professionals, the process is often more efficient and less emotionally draining, especially for children with families or tight schedules. And here’s something else you may not know about collaborative [00:12:00] divorce.

In 2017, the state of Florida passed the Collaborative Law Process Act, which actually requires lawyers to inform clients about collaborative force as an option. It’s so important. And so effective, the state of Florida says, you must disclose this to your clients. You have a legal right to know about it and to consider it before you jump into a courtroom.

So why choose collaborative divorce? And I think I answered that already, but here’s a few more reasons. People choose collaborative divorce because they want to stay in control of their outcomes because they care about protecting their children from conflict because they want to preserve their dignity and respect.

Through a painful transition and collaborative divorce lets you make decisions together. Instead of letting a judge who doesn’t know you or your family, decide what’s important. If you and your spouse are both willing to engage respectfully and prioritize long-term peace over [00:13:00] short-term wins, path number three, which is collaborative divorce could be right for you.

Path number four, contested divorce. Now let’s talk about path number four. Contested divorce is the most common type of divorce path in the state of Florida. It’s also the most financially, mentally, and emotionally draining path. Close your eyes. Again, if you’re picturing the trailhead for this path, it’s straight uphill through dense forest.

You can only see a few feet ahead of you, and when you start the journey, there’s a sign that says there’s an exit. But nobody’s gonna tell you how far away that exit is or how long it’s gonna take for you to get there, or what challenges you’re gonna face along the way. That’s why a contested divorce for many people feels uncertain, stressful, and constantly shifting.

So what is a contested divorce? A contested divorce happens when spouses don’t agree [00:14:00] on one or more key issues. Whether it’s child support, child custody, which we call timesharing now, alimony, property division, or even whether a divorce should happen at all. Generally a contested divorce, one spouse is gonna file a petition for dissolution marriage with the court.

The other spouse is gonna be formally served, which kicks off the litigation process. That’s usually done with a sheriff or process server. Once the other spouse is served, the court will have deadlines set. Those deadlines will be to exchange discovery, which includes financial disclosures, tax returns, bank statements, credit card records, business valuations, and many more.

It’ll include deadlines to attend mediation and complete parenting courses. Each side is entitled to have information about the other person’s finances in a contested divorce, whether they share it or not. It’s important. This part of the process alone can take months and feel overwhelming, especially if someone is hiding assets or refusing to cooperate.

[00:15:00] At some point in the case, the court will order a mediation if you have not already scheduled one. A mediation is a structured meeting with a neutral third party who will try to help both parties reach an agreement. Now they’re neutral so that can decide who’s right or who’s wrong. But mediation is required before any case continues to trial.

Here’s something that’s important to know. Even in contested divorces, 80 to 90% of cases will settle before a trial. So you have hope. Although it may not feel like you’re headed towards solution based outcome, you’re likely not headed for a courtroom battle just yet. And the majority of couples find a way to resolve things before the judge has to decide it.

The earlier you understand your rights, your options and your potential outcomes, the better the chance is for you to be able to pivot towards a peaceful path. Even if you start off in a contested divorce. A lot of people ask me, what happens if I go to trial? [00:16:00] If mediation doesn’t work out and settlement falls through, you’ll move into trial preparation.

Trial preparation includes preparing witnesses, exhibits, timelines, and often hours of attorney time. If you hire a lawyer, your spouse may Togo depositions, subpoenas may be issued to your employer and expert witnesses may be hired such as forensic accountants or psychologists. The judge will hear both sides and make a decision about your money.

Your property, your parenting time, and your future based on the law. Trials are time consuming, expensive and emotionally taxing. When you go to trial, you lose control over the outcome, and oftentimes I tell people that neither side is gonna walk away from that trial. Completely satisfied. The entire trial process from start to finish is about 12 to 18 months, depending on the complexity of the issues involved.

And [00:17:00] how busy the court docket is, you might be asking yourself, how much should a contested divorce cost me? And the answer is, it depends on the issues the attorneys involved, the judge assigned to your case, and how reasonable both sides are. If you can resolve some issues, but you need to go to trial on one issue, it’s generally to be less expensive than a to try a whole case.

Financially contested divorce is the most expensive option. The costs not only include attorney’s fees, but also include filing fees, mediator fees, expert fees, court reporter costs, and other litigation expenses. There’s also an emotional cost, sleepless nights stress placed on your children being tossed in the middle of your dispute, time away from work or parenting responsibilities, and sometimes the damage to the relationship between the other parent can never be fixed.

There’s still hope. And there’s good news. Just because your case starts off contested or you’re in contested divorce now, [00:18:00] doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. Educate yourself about what your options are and figure out if there’s a way to resolve some of these issues. Sometimes a contested divorce simply reflects the fact that one or both spouses need additional time, space, or education to work through the issues as additional facts come to light throughout the discovery process, whereas tempers cool.

Okay. Opportunities that will often present themselves allow me to revisit negotiations either at mediation or informally. With the right support, whether from a skilled attorney, a therapist, or a divorce coach, you may be able to shift toward a more cooperative solution than what a contested divorce normally looks like.

That’s why understanding all four divorce paths is so powerful because even when things start out hard. You may still find your way to a better, more simple route. Here’s a few final thoughts on your divorce roadmap. Path number four is not only the one that [00:19:00] takes the most money, but it’s also the most common.

And for a lot of people, it’s where the journey begins. If you find yourself in a contested divorce, just know you’re not alone, you’re not stuck, and you still have all the other options that we discussed earlier on this. Video. These videos will be designed to give you a roadmap so you can make informed choices, feel more confident about those decisions and plan effectively.

Even if you don’t always see the finish line. With the right information, the right guidance, you can navigate through this forest and you find your way forward and find yourself a peaceful solution. So before this video is over, I’m gonna ask you to close your eyes one last time. Ask yourself these questions, which trail am I on and is this the path I wanna stay on for the rest of my divorce?