v38 – Top 5 Mistakes Made in Divorce
Video Script Below
"Hi, I’m Steve Kramer of the New Future Divorce & Family Law Firm. I am a Florida family and divorce attorney. Today, we’re going to be talking about the top 5 mistakes people make in divorce cases.
The first mistake that people make is engaging in domestic violence or stalking. This can really have a detrimental effect on your case because one of the things it can lead to is criminal charges and domestic violence injunctions. And the thing about either of those is both of them can have long-term consequences on your future. If you have security clearance, you can kiss that goodbye if you wind up with a criminal charge like that. Or even with a domestic violence injunction. It can also affect background checks for work and otherwise. So you gotta be really careful with stalking and domestic violence. You gotta stay clear of the spouse. I know things can get tense and heated but you gotta watch yourself.
Number 2: leaving email and voice messages. You don’t want to be leaving hurtful messages. You don’t want to be leaving angry messages because they have the tendency to pop back up in cases. The same holds true for Facebook posts or MySpace, or whatever. Be careful what you put out there. Put yourself in the position of a judge looking at this email or listening to this voicemail because that may be the very position that you’re gonna be in later on.
The next thing that we want to look out for, and a huge mistake, is what’s called “parental alienation”. And that is where you start talking to the kids and you start telling them how awful your spouse is. “Your mom is such a terrible person,” “your dad is such a terrible person,” but I guarantee in most cases it’s not quite that nice and the words aren’t as diplomatic as the words that I’m using. The thing is, this can have a consequence both on your case – because a lot of times it comes out later. If you ever have a child psychologist in the case or what’s called a “guardian ad litem” which is a neutral party there to look at the whole situation and give a recommendation to the court. This kind of alienation can come out and really affect your case. The other thing it does is it puts the children in a really awkward position that can have some real consequences on their future and their psyche. And you really want to look out for that because what we want to do is have as good of a divorce as we can and protect the children. And that’s really, really important.
The fourth thing you’ve gotta look out for is using litigation as a tool for revenge because at the end of the day you will have spent a lot of money and you will still not have dealt with the issue and the anger that really prompted this whole thing. Litigation shouldn’t be used as a tool for that. Use your divorce to protect your rights. Use your divorce to make sure you have a good parenting plan for your child. But don’t use your divorce to beat up your spouse.
And the fifth and final one is ignoring claims of drug or alcohol use. If your spouse is accusing you of using drugs or alcohol, that’s a claim to take very seriously. My recommendation a lot of times is immediately preempt that by doing drug testing. If you’re not taking drugs, do the drug testing so when they come into court and say “she’s doing drugs, she’s doing drugs,” you can show them right away: “Look, Judge, I’ve done a drug test every week for the past year. There’s no chance I’ve been doing drugs.” And what that does is not only does it paint you in a good light because now you’ve shown you’re clean and sober, but it destroys the credibility in the false accusation that your spouse is making. Now they look weaker because they look like they’ve been misrepresenting themselves to the court. And that’s gonna have a big impact on your case. And that’s something we can look at.
There’s a lot more we can talk about with family cases and divorce cases, but these are five things you really should consider. Now why am I telling you this? Because these are things that you need to keep in mind when you go through a divorce and any good attorney should be going through this information with you. So, if you have any questions, call me. I deal with this stuff every day and I’d love to help you out in any way that I can. Thank you for watching. Also, if you’re watching this on Facebook or YouTube, click on the “like” button below. That way, you can share this information with your friends and family. I appreciate you watching our video. I’m Steve Kramer of the New Future Divorce & Family Law Firm. Thanks."
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